Jolene – What's It All About?

Well, what a week. I had intended to write another post that followed on from last time, but after two fairly routine vaccinations on Monday, I spent the rest of the week in bed with flu-like symptoms. It seems I was one of the unlucky ones who got quite bad side-effects, but on the upside, I should avoid Shingles, Pneumonia, Sepsis and Meningitis in the years to come. I was in two minds about having them as we’ve become human pin-cushions of late but then I thought of all the people of my generation who would still be around had they been offered the childhood vaccines now freely available. Also, a few days of feeling a bit shitty is still far better than getting the diseases listed above, so I went for it.

Not much to do when you have a duvet pulled up to your chin but I did manage to listen to the radio and scroll on my phone. In fact I did manage to do an awful lot of scrolling and it turned out to be quite a big week for news stories on social media. First of all the World Economic Forum took place in Davos where world leaders from government, business and academia met to discuss global issues and set priorities. Even David Beckham turned up to address issues with social media, which was quite ironic this week of all weeks.

The beautiful Davos in Switzerland

The not so beautiful Davros (impossible not to think of him when you hear the word Davos)

So what was discussed at Davos? I’m afraid the detail eluded me what with having a fever an’ all but it seems there was one very impressive speech from a world leader we know very well over here because of his time at the Bank of England. It will be remembered for a long time. There was another speech that will also be remembered for a long time, but perhaps for all the wrong reasons. Earlier in the week some of the posts on social media made me chuckle, but as the days have gone by I’m starting to think it’s all a bit sad. Having witnessed my own mum deteriorate mentally from the age of 80, I can see the signs. It was another three years until she was officially diagnosed by which time things had really got quite bad. I hope the administration in charge have the levers needed to address such a serious issue otherwise we really are in for a tough time.

A country whose name is apparently interchangeable!

A much-loved character from our childhood who was also obsessed by “windmills”, but he needed them to grind corn, not generate clean energy

Whatever happens, there now seems to have been a line crossed in the sand and for the male and female leaders of European countries, it’s time to…

In other news, there has been a very public falling out between the Beckhams and their eldest son. Most people will not be remotely interested in this but it even made it to the national news, so just shows the level of interest in their lives. Again, the first posts on social media made me chuckle, but for VB, former Spice Girl, this week has been excruciatingly embarrassing, and it’s sad that it’s come to this. A not very-talented singer and a good footballer have managed to amass a fortune through hard work and self-promotion, but, they didn’t ever consider that their children might not have wanted to be part of the copyrighted “brand”, especially as adults. Also, as the old saying goes, “A son is a son till he takes him a wife, but a daughter is a daughter all of her life”. I hope they can work things out behind the scenes but I fear worse is yet to come.

There was no actual footage from the wedding held for Beckham Jnr and his new bride, but the former Spice Girl has been accused of humiliating her son by doing a bit of this with him…

From all accounts it wasn’t that bad but VB would have been wise to remember that it was the bride’s day and only she should be centre stage. But what do I know? I do remember that not long after the film Dirty Dancing came out this song became a hit all over Europe and many of us tried doing the Lambada for the first time. Like most South American dances it’s a bit raunchy and not something we were used to in the Scottish Highlands, but maybe at weddings of the rich and famous it’s de rigueur.

Did you watch it? The latest series of The Traitors came to a conclusion on Friday and again, such was the furore, it featured on the national news. I for one just don’t get it but I seem to be in the minority so ended up watching the whole series (for research purposes). Personally I think of it as reality tv for middle-class people. It’s touted as “a game” where you have to be really clever to oust the traitors from the castle. To be fair, you do have to be a goodish actor if you’re chosen to be a traitor, but other than that it’s just a lot of people sitting around asking each other who they’re going to vote for, and lying a lot. Anyway, it got massive viewing figures, and the area it takes place in is just north of us so good publicity for The Highlands. The castle is at Ardross and I discovered this week it used to be owned by Mr Perrins of the famous Lea and Perrins brand. Look what a dash of Worcestershire Sauce could buy you in those days.

The beautiful Ardross Castle just north of the Cromarty Firth

This year’s finalists with the diminutive Claudia (who comes to our town for her spray tans!)

I didn’t mention who won the show in case anyone hasn’t watched it yet but no worries about spoilers with this next story, again on national news. It was Dolly Parton’s 80th birthday last week and she is still as busy as ever. I watched two programmes last night on BBC2 about her and it’s impossible not to smile when doing so. She is so upbeat and positive the whole time, exuding that wholesome Southern Charm. It seems she has been like that since childhood and it’s hard to believe she is not like that all the time but even Dolly must have her dark days, especially after her husband Carl died last year. She hides them well though and no-one ever sees her without her signature wigs, make-up and outfits. Even during filming, she never emerges from her dressing room or trailer without being fully Dollified. It’s just who she is.

Hello Dolly!

To finish off this longish post (sorry), here is a clip from 12 years ago when she appeared in the Legends slot at Glastonbury. I don’t know what Dolly’s undergarments are like, or if it’s all cosmetically enhanced, but she certainly has a perky bottom for someone of her years. This song, Jolene, was unbelievably the only one that remotely bothered the UK Singles Chart, reaching the No. 7 spot in 1976. Dolly has written over 3000 songs during her lifetime and apparently wrote both Jolene and I Will Always Love You during the same song writing session in 1973. Not a bad return on the time spent.

Jolene by Dolly Parton:

I think I’ve told this story before, but even to this day Mr WIAA winces when he hears the song Jolene. It came out at just the wrong time for him, before he’d had work done to remedy his slightly discoloured teeth, which had come about because of the tablets his mum had taken for morning sickness ahead of his birth. Oh yes, kids can be cruel, and because his teeth had a “greenish” hue, his classmates’ playground taunt was Joe Green, Joe Green, Joe Green, Joe Green… , sung along to the melody of Dolly’s famous hit. Needless to say, his schooldays weren’t the best years of his life but it just goes to show, sometimes a little bit of “work” is needed to make life as a teen just that little bit more tolerable.

Until next time…

Jolene Lyrics
(Song by Dolly Parton)

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I’m begging of you please don’t take my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please don’t take him just because you can

Your beauty is beyond compare
With flaming locks of auburn hair
With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green

Your smile is like a breath of spring
Your voice is soft like summer rain
And I cannot compete with you, Jolene

He talks about you in his sleep
There’s nothing I can do to keep
From crying when he calls your name, Jolene

And I can easily understand
How you could easily take my man
But you don’t know what he means to me, Jolene

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I’m begging of you please don’t take my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please don’t take him just because you can

You could have your choice of men
But I could never love again
He’s the only one for me, Jolene

I had to have this talk with you
My happiness depends on you
And whatever you decide to do, Jolene

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I’m begging of you please don’t take my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please don’t take him even though you can

Jolene, Jolene

Postscript

For those followers who are happy for me to update them on any change at the top of the UK Singles Chart, I found out at 6pm on Friday that this song is the new No. 1 – Raindance by Dave (ft. Tems)

I’ve been meaning to write this one for a while, so here goes.

At what age do we start to feel old nowadays? For me it happened last year, and nothing to do with my chronological age or any physical changes that have come over me, it’s just that a new epidemic, in a very stealthy fashion, has taken the country by storm.

Never a week passes by without some female actor, presenter or well-known musician suddenly appearing on our screens looking ten years younger. I sometimes have to do a double take, as I find it hard to delve behind the frozen expression to find the lady within, one whom I often used to warm to greatly because of their enthusiastic and energetic performance. Now the acting seems wooden, as facial expressions are restricted to the mouth and chin – Nothing else moves a muscle, literally, for they are frozen into place with all manner of toxic bacteria.

How have we got to this point in our evolution? There seems to be no turning the tide either, as even those whom I thought would never partake, seem to be coerced into such madness for fear of their careers being over without it. We all know which “celebrities” are roughly the same age as ourselves (that would be 58 in my case) – Jeremy Clarkson is allowed to get grey and crinkly, whilst Carol Vorderman now looks about 20 years younger, and sports that polyurethane type of skin best suited to a child’s baby doll.

“They look really great for their age”, is a remark I often hear bandied about – Well yes, of course they do, as they’ve spent thousands of pounds nipping, tucking and freezing everything into place! I can’t help thinking some of these poor souls are going to suffer greatly in the years to come, as those syringes full of chemicals and fat, start to take their toll. There can be difficulty speaking, and a breakdown of the skin. Whoever decided a fat top lip was a good look anyway? It is the natural order of things that our bottom lip should be the predominant one, no doubt having evolved that way to best support feeding ourselves, talking and breathing.

thI3DN6OZO Nothing to be done but just accept that as a gender, females in the public eye are no longer allowed to grow old, which makes the rest of us who are not in the public eye, and have no intention of transforming ourselves, feel a bit shit. Just as well I’m a blogger and not a vlogger, as my 58-year-old appearance would no doubt have you faithful readers running for the hills.

But of course there are a few exceptions to my ire, and they are ladies who have made no secret of changing their appearance over the years, and who exist in the firmament of stars because they are indeed masters of human transformation – One of these is Cher and the other Dolly Parton. I can’t believe neither of these ladies have put in an appearance around here before, as I am a big fan of both.

Cher is now aged 72 and had a cameo role in the second of the Mama Mia! franchise of jukebox musicals last summer. We went to see it when on holiday, and the most hilarious scene in the entire film was when flawless “grandmother” Cher looked across the courtyard, only to catch the eye of her beau of many years previously, Fernando. This was a convoluted turn to the plotline indeed, but an excuse of course to include the song of the same name. Whilst promoting Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again, Cher confirmed she was working on an album that would feature cover versions of songs by the band Abba, and Dancing Queen, was released in the September of 2018. It topped the Billboard Album Sales chart (the crowd-pleasing one), making it Cher’s first ever number-one album.

Another septuagenarian who popped up on our screens recently is Dolly Parton. She was across in the UK promoting the new West End extravaganza, 9 to 5: The Musical. Here is a clip from a few years ago when she appeared in the Legends slot at Glastonbury. I don’t know what Dolly’s undergarments are like, or if it’s all cosmetically augmented, but she certainly has a perky bottom for someone of her years.

Jolene by Dolly Parton:

There is of course so much I could write about these two ladies, but for another day probably. In the meantime, as if proof were needed (no not really), here is a photo-montage of two remarkable artists who have both been around since the 1960s, but like Peter Pan, don’t seem to have aged one iota. Both freely admit to having had “absolutely everything done” when it comes to holding the years at bay, but as neither of them seem to ever take themselves too seriously, I don’t begrudge them the squillions of dollars that must have taken one bit.

As for the song Jolene, even to this day Mr WIAA winces when he hears it. It came out at just the wrong time for him, before he’d had work done to remedy his slightly discoloured teeth, which had come about because of the tablets his mum had taken for morning sickness ahead of his birth. Oh yes, kids can be cruel, and because his teeth had a “greenish” hue, his classmates’ playground taunt was Joe Green, Joe Green, Joe Green, Joe Green…. , sung along to the melody of Dolly’s famous 1976 hit. Needless to say, his schooldays weren’t “the best years of his life” but it just goes to show, sometimes a bit of “work” is needed to make life as a teen just that little bit more tolerable.

Until next time….