Well, it’s been some time since I bothered these pages with any writing and looking back at the posts I put together back in June/July, regulars to this place would have detected that all was not going well in my life. The upshot was that in late July I had what used to be called a nervous breakdown (agitated depression to use modern parlance). More and more things were going wrong in my life (the holiday hideaway is no more) and we reached a crisis situation on the last day of the month. The people who came to whisk me off to hospital were not men in white coats however they were two very nice Community Psychiatric Nurses dressed in civvies, who will be in my life for some time to come. I was officially discharged from hospital only two and a half weeks ago and I’m happy to report that all is going really well. I know that it’s mostly down to the particular combination of drugs I’m on, but I am the happiest I’ve been in years, yet had things tipped the other way, I might not even be here. A sobering thought which makes me so grateful the doctors kept pursuing new avenues in terms of medication. I was a only a week away from being put on a course of ECT (12 sessions where you are under general anaesthetic every time) when I magically turned a corner and started to feel much, much better, so thankfully that plan was abandoned.

I ended up being a hospital inpatient for nearly four months. I was discharged twice during that time but always ended up back in after a few days. The irony is that our local Mental Health Hospital is only a 10 minute walk from my house and despite having passed it hundreds, or even thousands of times in the 24 years we’ve lived here, I had never been inside. I now know every nook and cranny. For a middle-aged, middle-class suburbanite like myself it is a scary place to find yourself in and there were some very challenging patients admitted during my stay. Thankfully we could lock our doors from the inside so if anything ever kicked off I could hide myself away. There were also a few nice people admitted whom I made friends with, but most patients only stay for a short time then either get discharged, or get moved to a different facility. Whatever, it is a place I will now never forget.
The great thing about the hospital being local to my home was that I had lots and lots of visits from my friends who also live in our area of town – neighbours, school mums, etc. I was really spoiled with some of them coming every week bringing me food treats, puzzle books and magazines. I was not the best of company however and looked awful (I lost three quarters of a stone) but thankfully they didn’t give up on me and persevered. I’m sure it all aided in my recovery. One friend in particular, whom I used to work with 30 years ago and who hasn’t been in my life for a long time, heard about my situation and identified that if some of my worries could be taken away from me I would get better. Being a hot shot accountant she took the time to help Mr WIAA with the sorting out of our finances. Until then I thought I was the only sane one and that everyone else was not recognising the reality of our situation, however, having someone I trusted take stock, really helped. As for Mr WIAA and DD, they found it really hard to deal with me as I had turned into someone they no longer recognised. At one point it didn’t look as if we’d ever get back on track in terms of my relationship with Mr WIAA, but now that I’m home and even a better version of the old me, I can happily report that all is now well on that front.
My final thank you is to all those blogging buddies (they know who they are) who also found out about my situation and sent cards, books and messages of support. Special thanks goes to C from Sun Dried Sparrows who did an excellent job of collating all those messages and sending them on. The new improved me is now looking ahead to the future and I can see another Bloggers Summit on the horizon, where this time I won’t be worried and distracted, but in fine fettle.
But hey, this is supposed to be a music blog and although I fully intend to get back to that soon, I just wanted to address the elephant in the room – my very long absence. When I was younger, one of the most exciting things about Christmas was finding out what the No. 1 single would be over the festive period. Those of us in the UK know that hasn’t been a thing for decades as the Christmas chart was always hijacked by either the winners of reality karaoke singing shows or songs about sausage rolls (although the latter did earn an awful lot of money for food banks). This year there has been an honest to goodness race which I did follow. Because of how we consume our music nowadays where the number of songs streamed and downloaded contribute to record sales, we have the situation where it’s the old favourites we return to every year. It was no surprise therefore to find out that Wham’s Last Christmas took the crown. I’m not complaining as it’s still a great sounding song, and I’ve written about George Michael more than anyone else around here. Such an irony therefore that the man who wrote one of Pop’s most enduring Christmas songs himself died on the big day. As ever I will raise a glass (of non-alcoholic beverage) to him.
So, What’s It All About? I think it’s safe to say I’m back… and the writing is flowing (I had worried the inability to string a sentence together might stay with me even if I got better). If you are a subscriber or regular follower I apologise for having given you only half a year’s worth of posts. but that changes as of today. I’m pretty sure I’ll get back to weekly blogging at the very least, and I might even sneak in a mid-week offering too.
For now, I’d just like to wish all my followers A Very Merry Christmas. Hope you have a fabulous one.

Last Christmas Lyrics
(Song by George Michael)
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away (you gave it away)
This year, to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special (special)
Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye
Tell me, baby, do you recognize me?
Well, it’s been a year, it doesn’t surprise me
“Happy Christmas,” I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying “I love you,” I meant it
Now I know what a fool I’ve been
But if you kissed me now, I know you’d fool me again
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away (you gave it away)
This year, to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special (special)
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special (special)
A crowded room, friends with tired eyes
I’m hiding from you and your soul of ice
My God, I thought you were someone to rely on
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man under cover, but you tore me apart
Ooh, ooh
Now I’ve found a real love, you’ll never fool me again
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away (you gave it away)
This year, to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special (special)
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, (you gave me away) you gave it away
This year, (oh) to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special (special)
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart (I gave you my heart)
A man under cover, but you tore him apart
Maybe next year, I’ll give it to someone
I’ll give it to someone special (special)
Someone




