An Open Letter to DD – When Life Gets Tough, “What Would Buffy Do?”

My Dearest Darling Daughter (DD for short)

I know you don’t often drop by this place and I thank you for giving me the freedom to write freely without worrying about being viewed by people from the real world, but here is a short post just for you. Other regulars may drop by but they already know all about you, as all of your shenanigans, as well as those of your dad and granny, pop up within these pages from time to time.

We are now heading into our 10th week of lockdown here in Scotland, which means it’s nearly 11 weeks since you were “let go” from your workplace. What an awful euphemism – You and your colleagues were not flimsy pieces of rope loosely tethered to your desks, but were sparky, go-getting young people with so much to offer. Anyway, because of the pandemic it happened, and on behalf of my generation I apologise for how your generation have been treated over the last decade or so. 

We all know how tough it is for you to buy somewhere to live, as we bought everything up as “investment property”. We all know how tough it is for you to enter the job market, as we cling on to the quality jobs and now (have to) work ’til we drop. We gave you computers & phones which let you access social media 24/7, often damaging your mental health. Some of us call you “snowflakes” which is an insult of the highest order and could only come from those who haven’t seen how hard your generation have had to work to navigate the school system and beyond. And now… , the world has seen fit to give you a pandemic to deal with.

This is primarily a health crisis we are living through, and yes, it is our older people and those with underlying health conditions who have borne the brunt of it so far, however I would argue that it’s the 18 to 24-year-olds like yourself whose lives have been turned upside down by it most, and who will bear the brunt in the longer term. I feel desperately sorry for all of you who will miss sitting those life-changing exams; who will finish your degrees virtually; who will miss out on all those end of term revelries; who work in the arts & hospitality; whose new apprenticeships/jobs are now on hold, and; whose plans for next year are now in jeopardy. Many of you might be in a serious relationship yet are having to lockdown in different households. Your social life, which is of immense importance to your age group, is reduced to a Zoom quiz or a hour’s walk with your parents.     

Anyway, got to find some positives and I know you will do your absolute best to adapt to a post-pandemic world. It was obvious before all this that something had to change in terms of how we live, and this might just be the catalyst to make it happen. Over the last few months we have seen less pollution, more innovative ways of working and communities taking care of each other – All bodes well for the future, as long as we can get through this tricky next phase.

I know you’re starting to struggle a bit now and I would like nothing more than to give you a great big hug, but as you’re at the other end of the country, sadly not possible for some time yet. Your dad and I miss you desperately and are your biggest supporters – Whatever the future holds, you will be fabulous.

Mum xxx


Postscript:

I have written about DD often around here, so if anyone wants to drop by the comments boxes with a message of support I think it would give her a big lift. Cross fingers we can all reunite soon. Back in the day, we as a family once spent a whole calendar year watching all 144 episodes of Joss Whedon’s award-winning cult drama, Buffy The Vampire Slayer. When times get tough, the question still is, “What would Buffy do?” – She was one powerful young lady.

As we watched all the episodes, we must have also heard the theme music by Nerf Herder at least 144 times. I had never thought to look into this before, but Nerf Herder are apparently an American rock band from Santa Barbara, California. They describe themselves as a “geek rock” band, and are known for simplistic, modern, punk-style songs and pop-culture-referencing lyrics. Perfect for the Buffy Theme it seems, and as I often say around here, every day’s a school day.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer Theme by Nerf Herder:

Author: Alyson

Whenever I hear an old song on the radio, I am immediately transported back to those days - I know I'm not alone here and want to record those memories for myself and for the people in them. 50 years ago the song "Alfie" was written by my favourite songwriting team Bacharach and David - The opening line to that song was "What's it all about?" and I'm hoping that by writing this blog, I might find the answer to that question.

20 thoughts on “An Open Letter to DD – When Life Gets Tough, “What Would Buffy Do?””

  1. You’ve hit the n on the h. Thank you for writing this. I wish your daughter the best. This is the biggest national crisis since the second war and we’re being led by people who have stepped out of a hostage video. I do hope that it’s the young who benefit most from the inevitable reordering of society, work, so forth, that will be the legacy of C19. We will all have our stories when this is over; I think that all we can do is to be able to say to ourselves that we tried to help each other as much as we could. Please don’t forget that children are resilient and I’m sure your daughter and you will get through this. I’m a long-time reader of your blog and this is my first message to you. I thank you for the work you’ve put in.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi J and thanks for dropping by, as you just never know who reads what we put up. Yes, it certainly is the biggest national crisis since WW2 and we’ve not been led well at all. The way out is not going to easy and for the particular age demographic my daughter fits into, it’s going to be especially tough, but you are right there will have to be an inevitable reordering of society and how we go about things. In the longer-term I am hopeful that many aspects of life will improve, but it’s just that pesky stage in between that’s going to be the difficult bit. We have to remain positive though and you are right, the young are resilient and less set in their ways, so will right their ship first hopefully.

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  2. Alyson – you said what I hope a lot of my generation are thinking. I don’t have any children but I’m sorry for what we’ve taken away from them. Hopefully, when this damned thing is over, the world will be a better place for your daughter and her generation. Sometimes, hope is all you have but, whatever you do, don’t lose it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes let’s hope the world will be a better place when this thing is over, but I doubt if it is ever going to be truly over, we’re going to have to learn to adapt to it being in our midst. It is a godsend that the young have remained relatively unscathed in terms of contracting the illness as not all pandemics have gone that way at all. We mustn’t lose hope as you say.

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  3. For DD (whose lovely mum I’ve had the great pleasure of meeting!). Better days do await, and you have the wonderful gift of time stretching out ahead of you, a lifetime in which so many positive changes are truly possible. Just hold tight through this chapter; one day it will all be in the distant past.
    (And what a beautiful photo!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for this C, I am going to pass on the link to this post later today so she will see it. She knows all about you too and our fantastic meet-up in That London! Just as well it wasn’t planned for the June of this year as if wouldn’t have been happening now.

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  4. I’m 50 years old and would still love to have an encouraging letter like this from my mother. Good of you to put yourself out there, Alyson. We should all be letting loved ones know how we feel. If not now, when?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s really a letter to all young people of that demographic, as I feel their lives have been turned upside down more than any other sector. It’s awful that so many people have lost their lives and it’s awful that our frontline and key workers are having to put themselves at risk but they have been kind of forgotten about yet are really starting to struggle now. Thanks for dropping by.

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  5. A – Although much of 2020 will be written off – by so many of us – if we can use this downtime to take stock of our lives, and generally figure out what’s important and what’s not, then next year (and beyond) can almost be a new start; there’s a lot to be said for wiping the slate clean.

    DD – With youth on your side and the unconditional love and support of your mother (one of my favourite writers btw), there’ll be no holding you back when we finally get around to rebooting this crazy old world. Just hang on in there for a little while longer…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks from me and thanks on behalf of DD.

      The blogging community are great at leaving supportive comments when one of our number have a relative or friend in need, so just thought it would give her an additional lift. It’s all about staying confident and in charge at the moment despite the world around us being in a mess – Thus the reminder of the Buffy Power Speech!

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  6. It’s a lovely letter, Alyson, and I can see how it would make you feel better, but maybe your daughter would have preferred a private phone call from her Mum, rather than being the subject of a public blog post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Marie, thanks for dropping by as you’ve been missed. As for the private phone call, I can assure you they are happening several times a day so that’s when all the personal stuff gets aired. It’s quite a while now since I’ve purely blogged about music as I use this place to air my thoughts on all manner of stuff and this letter was intended to be a generic one, directed at all those young people of my daughter’s demographic who have so swiftly lost everything. I use an alias around here and no-one in the real world knows about this place so I can assure you, she doesn’t mind.

      Hope all well with you during this awful time.

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        1. Thanks CC – As I said above, I like using this place to get my thoughts down and would never use my social media accounts for that. Here we can be anonymous characters, whilst still getting our points across.

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  7. All the best to DD, and her mum and dad. I too worry about the younger generation, because frankly, if this pandemic has hit a world-weary old git like me as hard as it is, I can only imagine how it would have affected me 30 years ago. Take care, everyone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel desperately sad for what so many of them have lost/lost out on – Once we’re past the peak of this health crisis (when will that be?) it will be tough for them. Won’t say too much more, as although she wasn’t embarrassed about me posting this, she wants me to try and be positive and optimistic about the future (struggling a little with that one at the moment).

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  8. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, jings, there was a show to inspire daughters. Good call, Alyson! Looking at the world leaders who have handled this crisis better than others, they’re mostly female, and that more than anything gives me hope for the future. Things won’t be the same, for sure, but us older folk have to own our negligence and now vote for a sustainable future. The ballot box will be our Mr Pointy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes indeed although sadly even Buffy would have been stumped by this virus (although… ) – That’s a point about women leaders, I really hope they provide inspiration for our daughters as I think this lockdown has knocked back any progress made by a couple of decades. Hope your girls have coped ok during the crisis.

      As for the ballot box, it’s not done us many favours over the last few years (in my opinion) but maybe this thing will make people rethink. We could have a much better sustainable future (with lots of dragonflies!) so fingers crossed.

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