Well, it’s been some time since I bothered these pages with any writing and looking back at the posts I put together back in June/July, regulars to this place would have detected that all was not going well in my life. The upshot was that in late July I had what used to be called a nervous breakdown (agitated depression to use modern parlance). More and more things were going wrong in my life (the holiday hideaway is no more) and we reached a crisis situation on the last day of the month. The people who came to whisk me off to hospital were not men in white coats however they were two very nice Community Psychiatric Nurses dressed in civvies, who will be in my life for some time to come. I was officially discharged from hospital only two and a half weeks ago and I’m happy to report that all is going really well. I know that it’s mostly down to the particular combination of drugs I’m on, but I am the happiest I’ve been in years, yet had things tipped the other way, I might not even be here. A sobering thought which makes me so grateful the doctors kept pursuing new avenues in terms of medication. I was a only a week away from being put on a course of ECT (12 sessions where you are under general anaesthetic every time) when I magically turned a corner and started to feel much, much better, so thankfully that plan was abandoned.
I ended up being a hospital inpatient for nearly four months. I was discharged twice during that time but always ended up back in after a few days. The irony is that our local Mental Health Hospital is only a 10 minute walk from my house and despite having passed it hundreds, or even thousands of times in the 24 years we’ve lived here, I had never been inside. I now know every nook and cranny. For a middle-aged, middle-class suburbanite like myself it is a scary place to find yourself in and there were some very challenging patients admitted during my stay. Thankfully we could lock our doors from the inside so if anything ever kicked off I could hide myself away. There were also a few nice people admitted whom I made friends with, but most patients only stay for a short time then either get discharged, or get moved to a different facility. Whatever, it is a place I will now never forget.
The great thing about the hospital being local to my home was that I had lots and lots of visits from my friends who also live in our area of town – neighbours, school mums, etc. I was really spoiled with some of them coming every week bringing me food treats, puzzle books and magazines. I was not the best of company however and looked awful (I lost three quarters of a stone) but thankfully they didn’t give up on me and persevered. I’m sure it all aided in my recovery. One friend in particular, whom I used to work with 30 years ago and who hasn’t been in my life for a long time, heard about my situation and identified that if some of my worries could be taken away from me I would get better. Being a hot shot accountant she took the time to help Mr WIAA with the sorting out of our finances. Until then I thought I was the only sane one and that everyone else was not recognising the reality of our situation, however, having someone I trusted take stock, really helped. As for Mr WIAA and DD, they found it really hard to deal with me as I had turned into someone they no longer recognised. At one point it didn’t look as if we’d ever get back on track in terms of my relationship with Mr WIAA, but now that I’m home and even a better version of the old me, I can happily report that all is now well on that front.
My final thank you is to all those blogging buddies (they know who they are) who also found out about my situation and sent cards, books and messages of support. Special thanks goes to C from Sun Dried Sparrows who did an excellent job of collating all those messages and sending them on. The new improved me is now looking ahead to the future and I can see another Bloggers Summit on the horizon, where this time I won’t be worried and distracted, but in fine fettle.
But hey, this is supposed to be a music blog and although I fully intend to get back to that soon, I just wanted to address the elephant in the room – my very long absence. When I was younger, one of the most exciting things about Christmas was finding out what the No. 1 single would be over the festive period. Those of us in the UK know that hasn’t been a thing for decades as the Christmas chart was always hijacked by either the winners of reality karaoke singing shows or songs about sausage rolls (although the latter did earn an awful lot of money for food banks). This year there has been an honest to goodness race which I did follow. Because of how we consume our music nowadays where the number of songs streamed and downloaded contribute to record sales, we have the situation where it’s the old favourites we return to every year. It was no surprise therefore to find out that Wham’s Last Christmas took the crown. I’m not complaining as it’s still a great sounding song, and I’ve written about George Michael more than anyone else around here. Such an irony therefore that the man who wrote one of Pop’s most enduring Christmas songs himself died on the big day. As ever I will raise a glass (of non-alcoholic beverage) to him.
So, What’s It All About? I think it’s safe to say I’m back… and the writing is flowing (I had worried the inability to string a sentence together might stay with me even if I got better). If you are a subscriber or regular follower I apologise for having given you only half a year’s worth of posts. but that changes as of today. I’m pretty sure I’ll get back to weekly blogging at the very least, and I might even sneak in a mid-week offering too.
For now, I’d just like to wish all my followers A Very Merry Christmas. Hope you have a fabulous one.
Last Christmas Lyrics
(Song by George Michael)
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away (you gave it away)
This year, to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special (special)
Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye
Tell me, baby, do you recognize me?
Well, it’s been a year, it doesn’t surprise me
“Happy Christmas,” I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying “I love you,” I meant it
Now I know what a fool I’ve been
But if you kissed me now, I know you’d fool me again
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away (you gave it away)
This year, to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special (special)
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special (special)
A crowded room, friends with tired eyes
I’m hiding from you and your soul of ice
My God, I thought you were someone to rely on
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man under cover, but you tore me apart
Ooh, ooh
Now I’ve found a real love, you’ll never fool me again
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away (you gave it away)
This year, to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special (special)
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, (you gave me away) you gave it away
This year, (oh) to save me from tears
I’ll give it to someone special (special)
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart (I gave you my heart)
A man under cover, but you tore him apart
Maybe next year, I’ll give it to someone
I’ll give it to someone special (special)
Someone
What's It All About? 
Alyson,
So good to have you back ‘blogging’, Totally agree with your description of the ‘UK #1 at Christmas”. Wonder where Billy Mack ended up? 🙂
Here’s to a Happy Christmas and a Healthy New Year.
Damian
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It’s good to be back Damian.
As for Billy Mack, I’ve just looked through the list of all 100 songs in the Singles Chart and have to report that he is nowhere to be seen. At least he made it to the top of the charts in the film though.
Yes, a Happy and Healthy Christmas to you too.
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I’ve been waiting so long for this da – welcome back! We’ve ben keeping your seat warm.
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day!
JM
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been!
Bloody hell fire! It’s me who’s forgotten how to write!
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Your fingers must have danced over the keyboard a little too quickly John. Must have been the excitement of seeing me back again. (The drugs also seem to have made me less humble!)
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Sorry to read that you have not been well but pleased you are feeling so much better. Have a really special Christmas..make every day count x
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Yes, Sally, I have been really unwell although for a long time I couldn’t even see it myself, I thought it was everyone else who was a bit mad. How it manifests itself it seems. Glad to be back though and hope you have a really special Christmas too.
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You know my thoughts Alyson so I won’t say much here apart from – how brilliant it is to have you back and to see such an enthusiastic blog post from you again! Oh, and – it’s so weird about the charts, I haven’t followed them at all so had absolutely no idea that Last Christmas should be No. 1. I also just heard for the first time about ‘Whamageddon’ – there was a question about it on Have I Got News For You, and it was news to me!
Have a well-deserved fab Christmas, all of you
C x
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I do indeed know your thoughts and thanks for being such a rock over the last few months.
I knew Last Christmas was No. 1 but haven’t heard the term Whamageddon. Just such a shame George is no longer around to witness it.
Hope you have a lovely Christmas with Mr SDS. Only two sleeps until the big man comes down the chimney.
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Welcome back. A very Happy New Year to you and yours.
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Thanks Neil. A Happy New Year to you too although I’m pretty confident I’ll be back before then with another post. And to think, a few months ago I thought my blogging career was over.
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I imagine Christmas at WIAA Towers will be extra special this year after what you have been through. Have a great one and best wishes to you all.
Good that George has deservedly made it to No. 1 at last, but personally I won’t rest until Shonen Knife finally get their big Xmas smash hit: https://youtu.be/7H_-ia2M2M4?si=7G478fD_EH4gmvQd
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You’re right Ernie, I didn’t think I’d even be at home for Christmas let alone feel this good so it’s shaping up to be a great one.
Yes, that Shonen Knife Xmas song is definitely quirky but give me George’s song any day.
Merry Christmas to you too.
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It’s great to have you back Alyson and with such a brave post too.
We will hopefully catch up with you on our next Highland jaunt and/or Bloggers Summit
Mr & Mrs CC
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It’s great to be back and wasn’t particularly meaning to be brave, I just wanted to tell the story of why I’d been absent and to show how anyone can be prone to bouts of poor mental health. Doing so much better now.
I look forward to my next meet up with you and Mrs CC wherever it is. Merry Christmas to you both.
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I just dropped by to wish you a merry Christmas and saw your brand new post. As you can tell from the comments, you’ve been in many people’s thoughts these past few months and it was such a joy to ‘see’ you over at Rol’s and John’s blogs recently and even more so here.
I’ll come back when things are a little calmer to read and absorb your post in full but for now, wishing you and your family a peaceful and fun festive period and a wonderful start to 2024.
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Yes it’s safe to say I’m back and I just thought it best to explain my absence than not mention it at all. The words just poured out with ease.
Merry Christmas to you and your family too. Once I’m a bit less busy I’ll visit all the blogs, yours included.
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This is the best Christmas present I could have asked for.
Welcome back, Alyson.
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Well thank you. I had worried that some of my medication would dull my memory and I’d be useless at Saturday Snaphots but thankfully that doesn’t seem to have been the case. Onward and upward.
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Alyson, thank you for sharing this update on your health, which I’m sure couldn’t have been an easy decision. I knew you had been having issues but assumed it was related to your mum’s condition. I’m sure that’s played a large role in your own struggles but clearly there was much more going on in your life, and for that I’m very sorry. I’m pleased (or chuffed as you would say) that, after a very difficult four months (and likely a lot longer than that prior to your hospitalization), things are looking up for you. I hope it continues this way for the rest of your life. As for ECT, I’m glad you didn’t have to go down that road. My own mom, who turned 93 two months ago, has struggled for years with anxiety and depression. Against my wishes she did several sessions of ECT about 10 years ago and it was a terrible experience with lasting negative impact. That should be for people with no other options. Anyway, wishing you & your clan a belated Merry Christmas and a very happy & healthy New Year. I look forward to catching up through our blogs throughout 2024. Sláinte!
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Thanks for dropping by Rich and for your kind words. As it turned out it was quite an easy decision to write about it all as having been a very regular blogger for 7 and a half years, it had to be something pretty big that kept me away from these pages. I am feeling so much better now though and back to being an even better version of my old self. Glad you shared your mum’s experience of ECT as I too was against it but if I hadn’t turned the corner with the medication when I did, it would have been forced on me.
Happy Hogmanay from here in Scotland and a Happy New Year for when it comes. We will indeed catch up via the blogs. I wonder what you’ll come up with in 2024!?
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Hello Alyson. On this last day of the old year, I really want to send you love and best wishes for the new year – I hope it will be a happy and healthy one for you, after all you’ve been through in 2023. I’ve missed your blog over the last few months, and having gathered that you weren’t well, I’ve thought about you, and wondered how you were getting on.
It’s about two and a half years since I found the blog, and thanks to you, I’ve discovered music I’d never heard before, and – rather unexpectedly! – developed a great interest in the Celtic Wheel of the Year. But above all, I’ve loved reading about your musical memories over the years, because as we are the same age, your experiences were often very similar to mine, from our childhood in the Beatles’ heyday to the era, of shoulder pads, big hair and Wham!
Like you, I remember the excitement of waiting to find out which single would make the coveted Christmas No 1 slot. I’ve recently dug out my teenage diaries, and I see that on 6 December 1973 I wrote: “Top of the Pops was absolutely fabulous tonight! They had the sensational, fabulous, wonderful, brilliant, fantastic Slade with their equally sensational, fabulous, wonderful, brilliant, fantastic Merry Xmas Everybody. It has already got 250,000 copies under its belt, and it has a silver disc, even though it’s not released until tomorrow! I’m hoping they go straight to No 1 in next Tuesday’s chart. So far this has only been done three times since the Beatles.” My diary entry for the following Tuesday, 11 December, reads: “As I sat in the Biology lesson, I kept looking at the clock and at 12 o’clock I thought ‘the charts are starting now’, and all through dinner, we were discussing whether Slade would be No I. No one had a radio and so we couldn’t hear the last half of the charts. We went to the library and at just after 1 o’clock a girl came in and told us that Slade were No 1!!! Yippee! Hooray!” I can’t help smiling when I read this. I remember those days so clearly, and I can’t believe that 50 years have passed since then.
I hope you’ve enjoyed listening to some Christmas music past and present over the last week or so. It’s good to read that you’re feeling happier than you’ve felt for years, and are back and ready to blog again. XX
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Hi Lizza – Thanks for dropping by. Yes, feeling so much better now, although mostly down to the medication I’m on, but no plans for it to be reduced for some time so glad we got to this point as I really was very unwell.
Yes, I remember when you started leaving comments, and we soon worked out we were the same age so all our memories were similar. Thanks so much for sharing that diary entry about Slade taking the No. 1 spot at Christmas all those years ago. Can it really be 50 years ago as I remember those days so clearly. I too am going to share a diary entry soon as I had written a review when a teenager about a film musical – embarrassing to read your words from that long ago but worth sharing I think for entertainment’s sake.
I was officially discharged from hospital on the 5th Dec so yes, I certainly did get a chance to listen to lots of Christmas music before the big day. Glad George and Andrew made it to the top spot – the 80s clothes and hairstyles look quite comical now but it’s still such a great video and reminds us always of cottage weekends with friends when we were the same age, sadly not in the Alps but the Scottish Highlands – not quite as glamourous although having said that the town is full of tourists as many will have come for Hogmanay celebrations. I think they’re planning on having the biggest ceilidh ever held so we might even get into the Guinness book of records!
All the best for the New Year Lizza – hope you have a happy and healthy 2024 too.
PS – I fixed that problem with the paragraph. Easily done.
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Wishing you and your family a happy NYE and an even happier and healthy 2024. It’s been great to hear from you again, Alyson
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Same to you Khayem. Have a healthy and happy 2024 yourselves. Looking forward to browsing through all the blogs once the celebrations are behind us.
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I’m sorry to be so ridiculously late to this Alyson, but what a wonderful (very!) belated Christmas present it is to see you back and in such fine fettle – you’ve been at the forefront of my thoughts over the past few months.
I hope you, Mr WIAA and DD have a healthy, happy 2024.
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No need to apologise TS and yes, I can confirm that I’m still in “fine fettle”, so doing really well after the low I experienced last year.
A healthy and happy 2024 to you too.
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