Easter Discombobulation, Doppelgängers and Spacemen

If anyone ever tells you that a cost effective way of having your floors replaced is to do them all at the same time, ignore that bit of sage advice. It might be good for the pocket, but really not good for your head, your back or your living conditions, especially if it’s happening around Eastertime.

Apologies for the rant but I had planned a nice Easter Sunday lunch for DD and her other half but that’s had to be cancelled as for a week now we’ve been living like this (see below), and another few days to go. The first two floors have now been laid after a bit of a delay because mysterious hatches / lumps & bumps appear when you lift the carpet and underlay in a 50-year-old house. Also, the best time to decorate a room is when it’s empty so in-between humping furniture around we’ve been furiously painting walls and skirting boards. I think Mr WIAA still thinks of me as a spring chicken (apt for this weekend), which is nice, but my arms and back tell a different story.

I’m going to have to write quickly this morning as the room I’m sitting in is about to be dismantled, ahead of it’s rejuvenation on Monday. Sadly there is nothing more likely to cause marital strife in our house than a spot of DIY, so needless to say tempers are frayed but if punctuated by frequent stops for a cuppa, it’s all bearable. Cue Bernard Cribbins and that great wee ditty from the early ’60s, Right Said Fred.

In other news there is a rumour fast spreading around our town that the actress Wendy Craig has been putting in shifts at the charity shop I volunteer in. Now that we’ve moved to the centre of town, footfall is far higher and older ladies love to come in for a browse and a chat with the staff. I love these little exchanges and you soon find out never to judge a book by its cover as all sorts of stories pour out.

The nickname I got from some of the other volunteers when I started working at the shop was indeed Wendy, as they all thought I looked a lot like the famous actress from our youth. The fact that she is now aged 90 worried me a bit, but I expect they were thinking of her from her younger days. Well it seems some of our customers are now thinking the same thing, as volunteers have been stopped in the street and asked if she was helping us out. Personally I don’t know what they’re talking about!

Wendy in Butterflies at age 43 and my good self at age 43

I watched the sit-com Butterflies back in the day but here is another that Wendy starred in that I don’t remember at all. It was called Not In Front Of The Children and just as with her character in Butterflies, Wendy played a bit of a scatter-brained stay at home housewife. I’d like to think I’m not that scatter-brained but I have for a time been a stay at home mum, so maybe more similarities than I admit to. The theme tune for Not In Front Of The Children was certainly of its era – classic 1967 telly.

Amongst all the big scary news stories going around at the moment – I’ve been avoiding talking about the ones initiated by the orange man-baby – there is a big feelgood news story. The first lunar travellers since Apollo 17 in 1972 have taken off successfully and are on their way to the “dark side” of the moon. There was such excitement back in 1969 when Neil Armstrong first set foot on the moon but this time it’s not such a big deal and I don’t think children will be as fully invested as we were back then. I’m not entirely sure what their motives are but it’s probably to find out what the Chinese did on the dark side of the moon when they sent robots up there in 2024. Either that or those in the know suspect our planet is on its last legs, so a permanent moon base will have to be set up to save the great and the good (but not the orange man-baby). Whatever their real motives, it will be interesting to see pictures from the side of the moon that never faces us.

Of course back in the 1960s, the music industry became totally influenced by these space missions and many songs were recorded about rockets, spacemen and even aliens. The most famous of them all was probably this one by a young David Bowie, Space Oddity. Although the song was really about a fictional astronaut named Major Tom, its title and subject matter inspired by the film 2001: A Space Odyssey, it was rush-released as a single to capitalise on the Apollo 11 Moon landing and was used by the BBC as background music during its coverage of the event. It initially sold poorly but soon reached the No. 5 spot in the UK Singles Chart, becoming David’s first and only chart hit for another three years. He revisited the Major Tom character in later singles, notably the sequel song Ashes to Ashes.

So, “What’s It All About?” – By this time next week my back will hopefully have recovered and we will have some very smart refloored and redecorated rooms. To be fair I did exaggerate, as it’s not the whole house it’s only four rooms but as one of those rooms is the hall it’s been very disruptive. As I said, don’t do it if you’re still living in the house – there may be a divorce afterwards!

As for my life as a doppelgänger, I think I might have some fun with it. I could wear my cardigan with the butterflies on it and answer only to Wendy. Our customers would probably enjoy that.

Again, by this time next week we’ll have seen pictures of the dark side of the moon. Who knows, it might even look like this.

Until next time…

Space Oddity Lyrics
(Song by David Bowie)

Ground Control to Major Tom
Ground Control to Major Tom
Take your protein pills and put your helmet on

(Ten)
Ground Control
(Nine)
To Major Tom
(Eight, seven, six)
Commencing countdown
(Five)
Engines on
(Four, three, two)
Check ignition
(One)
And may God’s love
(Lift-off)
Be with you

This is Ground Control to Major Tom
You’ve really made the grade
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear
Now it’s time to leave the capsule if you dare

This is Major Tom to Ground Control
I’m stepping through the door
And I’m floating in a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today

For here am I sitting in a tin can
Far above the world
Planet Earth is blue
And there’s nothing I can do

Though I’m past one hundred thousand miles
I’m feeling very still
And I think my spaceship knows which way to go
Tell my wife I love her very much
She knows

Ground Control to Major Tom
Your circuit’s dead, there’s something wrong
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you he—

Here am I floating ’round my tin can
Far above the Moon
Planet Earth is blue
And there’s nothing I can do