First of all, if you are a vegetarian or indeed a vegan you might not want to read this post as it involves a butcher’s shop – The inspiration that led me to write about a butcher’s shop in a music blog is because last Saturday, the day after the wedding in Berkshire, we visited the town of Marlow.
Not much sign of austerity down there I must admit, and not many high street shops closing their doors – No, all very buoyant and wealthy it seems, so the very place for a celebrity chef to open an upmarket hostelry, or two. The Butcher’s Tap is run by the Michelin starred chef Tom Kerridge and is just what it says on the tin (or the signage) – A butcher’s shop, that also serves beer. We popped in for a look but were on our way for lunch elsewhere so didn’t dilly-dally too long – The shop looked great but the prices were most definitely not what we are used to at our local Asda or Lidl. Then again I don’t think the people of Marlow look as if they would ever frequent Asda or Lidl, but maybe I’m making unfair assumptions.
Outside the Butcher’s Tap was a sandwich board where someone had written in beautiful chalk lettering that there was to be an Open Mic Night the following week. We all found this quite funny, it being a butcher’s shop an’ all. Inevitably the puns started to flow as to who would be performing, and if they were indeed singers, what would the song be?
Over lunch we came up with the following artists…..
Chris de Burger
Meat Loaf
New Kidneys On The Block
The Cure
Steak That
Boney M
Captain Beefheart
…..and as for the songs, these came to mind, although some are pretty offal:
Bacon Up Is Hard To Do by Neil Sedaka
Turkey Turkey Cheep Cheep by Middle of the Road
Heart of Glass by Blondie
The Liver by Bruce Springsteen
Rabbit by Chas and Dave
But I know we only scratched the surface with these picks – I have no doubt there are many of you out there who could come up with much better suggestions (a certain blogger who tends to do things in tens comes to mind). Feel free to litter the comments boxes.
In the meantime I will leave you with this song, Bacon, I mean Breaking Up Is Hard To Do by Neil Sedaka as it was my favourite of our meat-related puns. This song was recorded by him twice, once in 1962 and once in 1975, the second being a slower ballad version. To be honest, the Neil Sedaka I remember best is not the pop teen sensation of the early ’60s who churned out successful hits like this one, but the Sedaka of the mid ’70s who was often to be seen popping up on TOTP with songs such as That’s When The Music Takes Me and Laughter In The Rain. To me at the time he seemed really old, but he would only have been in his mid-30s – It’s all relative. Neil certainly has been prolific having written over 500 songs during his long career and is still performing today.
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do by Neil Sedaka:
If anyone has any ideas for who could join my roster of artists at the Open Mic Night in the butcher’s shop, do share.
Until next time….
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do Lyrics
(Song by Neil Sedaka/Harold Greenfield)
Do do do
Down dooby doo down down
Comma, comma, down dooby doo down down
Comma, comma, down dooby doo down down
Breaking up is hard to do
Don’t take your love away from me
Don’t you leave my heart in misery
If you go then I’ll be blue
Cause breaking up is hard to do
Remember when you held me tight
And you kissed me all through the night
Think of all that we’ve been through
And breaking up is hard to do
They say that breaking up is hard to do
Now I know
I know that it’s true
Don’t say that this is the end
Instead of breaking up I wish that we were making up again
I beg of you don’t say goodbye
Can’t we give our love another try?
Come on, baby, let’s start anew
Cause breaking up is hard to do
(They say that breaking up is hard to do)
Now I know
I know that it’s true
(Don’t say that this is the end)
Instead of breaking up I wish that we were making up again
I beg of you don’t say goodbye
Can’t we give our love another try?
Come on, baby, let’s start anew
Cause breaking up is hard to do
(Down dooby doo down down)
Comma, comma, down dooby doo down down
Comma, comma, down dooby doo down down
Comma, comma, down dooby doo down down
Comma, comma, down dooby doo down
What's It All About? 
I’m so glad this whole series isn’t devoted to football songs – much more palatable today. (You did suggest that a post a day might enforce brevity though… No sign of it yet. Not that I’m complaining as I always enjoy your writing.)
Anyway, I am duty bound to remind you that Meat Is Murder… But since the bloke who penned that appears to currently be suffering from Mad Cow Disease, I think I’ll say: pass me another plate of Meat Loaf, please.
I’m reminded of what Paul Young sang… everytime you go away, you take a piece of meat with you. Bloody hamburglars!
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Don’t worry, the last football song for a while (well until I do my World Cup themed series – joke!) but hopefully you understand that there was a personal reason for it. As for the brevity, I thought it would be inevitable but I seem to just have a template for how I put my posts together and find it hard to shorten them – By day seven, if I make it, I might well be down to one para though.
Yes we did think of Meat Is Murder but because of the Mad Cow Disease (very good) decided to omit that one. Love the Paul Young song and the hamburglars. Sadly the friends we were with on Saturday don’t know about this place but they came up with most of our suggestions – Will pass on any new ones and pretend I thought of them!
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You also need some Lambchop. And possibly The Meat Puppets. Oh, and get Lady Gaga to bring her dress…
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Aha – I’d forgotten about Gaga’s dress. No-one would have noticed her though as she’d have been in camouflage.
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New Kidneys On The Block has my vote as best band name.
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It works well doesn’t it, what with the butcher’s block an’ all.
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Haha, love this Alyson, although I had expected when you said “A butcher’s shop, that also serves beer. We popped in for a look…” that you were going to say you “popped in for a butcher’s” – but then l like a bit of rhyming slang (I’m a Cockney by birth! Although only by birth….)
Love all the suggestions so far. New Kidneys On The Block is brilliant! Mr SDS have put our heads together and can offer up a few more meaty acts (axe?! aarghh) for the roster (roaster?). There’s Loin Cole & The Commotions… Shank Marvin… The Chop Group… but my favourite has to be Limp Brisket.
We’re vegetarians too…..
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Oh heck – I really missed a trick there didn’t I? That’s the problem with daily blogging – You don’t have much time to go back and edit in some clever stuff like this – I do also like a bit of rhyming slang.
I love your suggestions especially Limp Brisket. I’m going to have to get back to my Berkshire friends and update them on these new additions to the “roaster” – Thanks for putting your heads together.
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Mr WIAA just thought of another couple – Ham Cooke and Spamdau Ballet (but perhaps the only kind of Spam people know about nowadays in the kind that ends up in their Inbox).
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All I can come up with off the top of my head is ‘Eat Y’self Fritter’ by The Fall, though if you find yourself feeling bloated after all those rich meats you might want reach for a (Brian) Eno. (Sound of tumbleweed….) I’ll get me coat.
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Good attempt but my favourite of all our suggestions is Limp Brisket from C closely followed by the Hamburglars comment from Rol. Might try this again but this time Open Mic Nights in the Baker’s Shop – She’s Scone by Hall & Oates!
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