Alyson’s Italian Job, Part One – Rome

Well, it was supposed to be The Big One. After a summer of enjoying all sorts of new adventures (stadium concerts, music festivals), trips around the country visiting friends and the usual activities we get up to in our own back yard, our Italian adventure was the one we had invested most into (both financially and in preparedness). We were expecting this:

Or for the younger generation this:

But as tourists before us have discovered, what we see on the screen no longer reflects the reality.

Don’t get me wrong, I know I am privileged to have been able to make this trip but perhaps because we haven’t done much travelling outside the UK for a long time, and certainly not to Mediterranean countries, it was a bit of a shock to the system.

First of all, hats off to my blogging buddies in England who had to endure temperatures in the mid-30s this summer. Luckily we avoided that heatwave in Scotland so it was a bit of a shock to discover that even in September, Italy was still experiencing one. We had four nights in Rome so we pretty much visited all the tourist hotspots, and very impressive they were too, but even making use of the metro system we still found we were racking up 20 thousand steps per day. For a couple of Highlanders that was pretty good going in the heat and humidity. Here are some of my best photos:

The “real” Spanish Steps not quite so attractive as the ones in the films!

When you look back at the photos afterwards you remember the best bits of a trip but of course you can’t see the heat, the queues or the street vendors selling tat. The hotel we stayed in was air-conditioned, and the breakfasts were delicious, but once you venture out, 21st century Rome is very dirty with overflowing bins and graffiti everywhere. The locals are fed up of tourists swamping their city so come across as very rude and unbelievably, the food wasn’t that great. Maybe we chose badly but menus are complicated meaning you have to choose a pasta dish first then a meat dish but both are very plain and nothing to write home about. Even the gelato was no better than our own ice-cream shops at home (ironically set up by Italians). Also, there is no tipping system in Italy as the waiters are paid a decent wage and they know there is a never-ending supply of tourists, so the service was shabby to say the least. We had to change restaurant every night as we thought we’d pissed off the waiter so much the night before with our limited Italian and odd menu choices.

As for music, we didn’t hear any over the duration of our stay in Rome bar for tuning in to Radio 2’s Sounds Of The Sixties on my iPhone, and one of the first songs we heard was, blow me down, Matt Monro singing On Days Like These from The Italian Job. That is one of Mr WIAA’s favourite films and he especially loves this song, Getta Bloomin’ Move On! (The Self Preservation Society), by Don Black and Quincy Jones.

Yes, watching that film as a youngster in the ’60s would have had you yearning for a trip to Italy but things have changed and although I’m glad we did it (as it was one of a few European capitals I’ve not visited), it’s a bit of an endurance test nowadays. I think we’d have enjoyed it better if we’d gone later in the year when the heat had died down and it was less busy, but the negative side to the city would still have been there. I did check out some reviews from fellow travellers about two days into our trip, just to make sure it wasn’t just us, and was pleased to see it wasn’t.

Hope I haven’t put anyone off heading to Rome – hope I’ve just given you all a few pointers on what to expect and how to make it better. I’ve not recounted the tales of how I left my iPhone (with all our tickets) in a gelateria or how I slipped and fell coming out of the shower and was covered in bruises for the rest of the holiday, but maybe a bridge too far. I also seem to have used up all my words so will return next time with the story of our trip down to Sorrento – will be a lot more positive.

One thing is for sure though, I’ll not get Mr WIAA back on a plane in a hurry. He has always been the more adventurous of the two of us but four “travelling days” during an 11 day trip, high temperatures, crowds and being classed as an outsider in the EU of today just isn’t for him any more. I do think he’ll come round in time, especially if snow sports are involved, but for now it’s holidaying in the UK for him for the foreseeable. So much for the big post-retirement bucket-list of adventures.

Until next time… arrivederci.

Getta Bloomin’ Move On! (The Self Preservation Society) Lyrics
(Song by Don Black/Quincy Jones)

This is the self-preservation society,
This is the self-preservation society
Go wash your German bands, your boat race too
Comb your barnet, fair we’ve got alot to do
Put on your dickie dirt and your peckham rye
‘Cause time’s soon hurrying by
Get your skates on mate
Get your skates on mate
No bib around your Gregory Peck today, eh?

Drop your plates of meat right up on the seat
This is the self-preservation society,
This is the self-preservation society
Gotta get a bloomin’ move on
Babadab-babadabadab-bab-ba
Jump in the jam jar gonna get straight
(Babadab-babadabadab-bab-ba)
Hurry up mate, gonna be late
How’s your father?
Tickety boo, tickety boo
Gotta get a bloomin’ move on

The self-preservation society,
This is the self-preservation society
Jump in the jam jar gonna get straight
(Babadab-babadabadab-bab-ba)
Hurry up mate, gonna be late
How’s your father?
Tickety boo, tickety boo
Gotta get a bloomin’ move on
Tickety boo, tickety boo
Gotta get a bloomin’ move on
Tickety boo, tickety boo
Gotta get a bloomin’ move on

The self-preservation society,
This is the self-preservation society
Jump in the jam jar gonna get straight
(Babadab-babadabadab-bab-ba)
Hurry up mate, gonna be late
How’s your father?
Tickety boo, tickety boo

Postscript

I can tell from reading the comments that I have perhaps focused on the negative aspects of my trip to Rome and omitted the good stuff. As you can see from my photos we did a lot and most of it was very, very impressive. Here is a photo of me looking very happy in the Vatican City garden:

And here is a happy couple having their wedding photos taken in front of The Colosseum:

What was good:

• The view from the breakfast room on the top floor of the hotel
• The breakfasts – yum
• The pizza we had the day we arrived and were very hungry
• The sightseeing bus tour of the city
• The Vatican Museums and Sistine Chapel
• The walk into St Peter’s Square
• The Swiss Guard uniforms
• The Palatine Hill where the ruins of ancient Rome still stand
• The man at the gelateria keeping my phone for me until I came back
• The bruises looking worse than they were – I was lucky